You fall asleep during foreplay ‘Cause the pills you take are more your...– Katy Perry
Just dropped my MacBook down a flight of stairs.
Thank you for calling Sunny Side Up Save on Foods. This is Enrique speaking. How...– Josh
Someone do up a window! My wig’s gonna fly off! I don’t wanna go...– Josh
Justin Bieber crashed my web server today.
It’s 4 o’clock. Time for Judge Judy.– King of the Hill
I am here with Steven Hawking: the first white man I’ve met that knows...– Asian Reporter Trisha Takanawa
Old Dutch Ketchup Chips are the best.
Josh: on intercom “Neil dial 1-” random screaming behind Josh Josh:...– Flashback from work last summer
I’ve had the same cell number since I was 10.
Is it bad...
That I know every word in Best of Both Worlds?
I really need to stop hitting the emergency call button on my iPhone. I understand you have to press the talk button after, but still.
Just pulled a Josh and accidentally dialled 911.– Karlin
So It's 8am Tuesday Morning...
And I haven’t gone to bed yet. Gotta love summer.
I was sleeping in a hotel room with my mom and grandma. Apparently in the middle of the night I rolled out of bed, hit my head on a table, had a conversation, and went back to bed. I don’t remember any of that.
I'm Strangely Excited to be in an Airport Again
Quebec in 32 days =D
givesmehope: My best friend got in a car accident last night. The girl sitting next to her was asleep without a seat belt on. My best friend threw her body over her. The girl survived, my best friend did not. Thank you for saving my life and giving me hope, I love you Elizabeth.
givesmehope: When we were watching ‘Friends’, my nine year old cousin asked why two characters, Carol and Susan, were getting married because they were both women. My sister, who is seven, said “Because they love each other, duh.” without moment of hesitation. Her acceptance GHM.
One of the downsides to facial piercings: I don’t remember the last time I slept on my tummy.
This is Getting Ridiculous
My phone almost called 911 again.
I was the one that introduced Justin Bieber to my city’s radio stations last summer, and got them to start playing “One Time.”
You make me feel like I’m living a Teenage Dream. The way you turn me on....– Katy Perry
That's Right, iTunes!
You know what, iTunes? I just stole from Katy Perry because you’re being retarded. Happy?
As a kid, I loved MSN Explorer.
Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I...– Three Days Grace
People actually watch Jersey Shore? I feel sorry for them…